I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
