I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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