Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
