The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
