is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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