I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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