no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The air was thick with penises
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Drake has all the answers
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
