4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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