apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
