Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
