He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
