If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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