Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
