i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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