I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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