I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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