yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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