Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
