no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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