So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This is my gift to your gina
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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