i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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