I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He shit in the fireplace
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
