why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
