Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
