If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
