I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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