Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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