Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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