It's like God shit irony all over that family
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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