What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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