its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
