We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
