Everything about him screamed your future.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
