OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
