Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
