Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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