You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
