Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
