ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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