i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
