Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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