i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
