Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
