Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
