he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
And then he peed in my hair
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