is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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