kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
