how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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