Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
no, he came in my armpit
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
