That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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